CNCPPD: Central NC Pagan Pride Day

Written By: Lili & Riri

This weekend was a big weekend for us. It was our first NC Pagan Pride Day!!! You hopefully will be getting posts from each of us individually but this one was just to give you a little taste into our world. This experience was life altering for us. We saw others who were like us and some who were even more extreme. Saturday we spent drinking in it all and Sunday, well we took pictures. We had our tarot read, and a few other metaphysical things done. Mostly we spent hours sitting on the grass, watching the world and enjoying the energy. So for you our loyal readers, A glimpse into our day. Pay attention, who knows you might find a surprise at the end.

The Sign Post

I just liked this guy's hat!

They found the perfect place....

All the trees were wonderful!

One of the entertainers

Look!! A Faerie!!

Pagan Children ;)

The Center of our Ritual Circle.

South: Fire

East: Air

North: Earth

West: Water

Preparing for Rituals

Gathering

Ri had her soul Portrait done.

The Circle...

They Apparently thought they should pose!

Her music was beautiful.

Henna Anyone?

Diane, who read our Tarot.

Your Wonderful Writers: Lili & Riri

Embracing Your Shadow

Try it.

embracing your shadow means exactly that. realize that you are human, and because of your humanity, you are innatley good - and evil. We are all made up of goodd and evil elements. We each carry bad thing s about ourselves that make us who we are. Our bad habits, our malicious thoughts. Instead of trying your best to wish them away - I am embracing them. And remembering that my shadow is part of me. And that I'm not an angel - and I'm not supossed to be.

spectacular

So, I'm going to Aveda to learn esthiology. if you don't know what that means (it's fine, no one does) it means I can wax your vagina, give you a facial, and tell you what is wrong with your skin when I get my license. And I decided from the very beginning, that I would be very, very honest about who and what I am.
So here's what happened. there is this woman in my class that is in her mid 30's, and looks like she's 18. She's gorgeous, funny, sweet as pie, and she loves Jesus.
To each his own, right? RIGHT. I love Jesus, I think his philosophies, and preachings, are BEAUTIFUL. And I believe every person should live with those principals.
It's his followers I have a problem with. The judging, the lip-snarling, ugh, I can't fucking take it.
I am always getting invited to church, which I appreciate, but really? I expected more tolerance when choosing a school in Chapel Hill, which is a REALLY liberal city.
And I get comments about worshipping the Devil.
And the worst? a guest the other day asked if another student could work on her after she noticed my Pentacle necklace the other day.
"Is that the devil symbol?" She asked.
"This? Oh, no, I'm a Wiccan. They represent the 4 elements and the The Spirit." I said, smiling. she looked like I just told her I was going to disembowl her with a shrimp fork.
"Can I get another student to work on me? I really just don't feel comfortable anymore."
How terrible is it that I have to go to the ladies room and cry?

A whole other world

The energy around me is dragging lately. I feel like I'm under water, and I keep reaching to break the surface, but I can't. I have no idea why.
Me being able to see auras has come back - in awkwardly, staggering baby steps. But that is something in a different basket altogether.
This dark energy has been draped over me, and I have no clue where it is coming from. I feel okay, happy about to finally be done with school, but I feel like there are these weights all over me. It's manifesting itself into something bad, something that looms over me, watching me, making me so nervous. It's in my loft, and my dogs are scared of it.

okay, now I sound loony.

but I'm not kidding.

-Lilli

Thoughts.

"Song To The Siren" - Mortal Coil

Written By: LiLi

I am alone on these rocks I called home,
But now they are as shapeless as smoke,
And all but my eyes sparkle, with mischief and pulsating regret.
I let the Universe that I am here, holding my hands out.
All I wanted was love.
And for you to tell me I was worth it.
All I wanted was love.
And for you to tell me that I can make it.
I'm not like them, swaying back and forth in the breeze,
The sun touches them, they have wants but no needs.
When I sing, you hear and smile,
I want love so bad it brings tears to my eyes.
Wondering keeps my knowing I exist,
But it's puzzling to whether or not I am living.
All I ever wanted was love,
And for you to tell me I am worth it.
All I wanted was someone beside me to feel the earth move,
But I don't feel like I am worth it.
Floating, isn't funny how they won't weep for me?
I'm not sure I am worth it.

Pursuit of Creativiness

written by: Lili

I alway had this set plan for me. Well, that's not exactly true. I always had a rough sketch planned out for me. It always involved me going into the military, I always felt that I'd feel less of a woman if I did not go in. someone tell me that's not true. Someone tell me I can still be proud of myself without having to sacrifice 8 years of individuality, and time away from the only person I feel the earth move with. Someone let me know I am special enough, and I don't need to wear a uniform with metals and ribbons. Please, because I am having a shit load of trouble trying to convince myself.
I've been doing nothing but exploring all of my options lately. I still think about doing the coast guard everyday. When I'm not sleeping, I think about it at least once an hour. But I've also thought about styling and makeup and doing hair. And starting my fashion line. And becoming a Doula, and hopefully finding someone who will help me become a Neo-Pagan minister. And then maybe going to Graphic Design school. And doing shows again, and maybe driving a convertible someday soon, being able to call things my own. But I always feel like if I don't do the military, I am letting the one person I feel the earth move with, down. I am letting him down, an I am asking him to take care of me for even longer. I feel like shit.
I've been looking to nature and the moon to try and give me the answers. I keep thinking about my father, and how he would give me the right answer. And I think about if I am doing the whole military thing just to bring a piece of him back. But no matter what I do, he isn't coming back. Would he have told me to join the military, or to be the artist I am, and go after that? I don't know. I'm so scared, and confused, and time isn't slowing down and waiting for me to make up my mind, I hate it.
I want my partner by my side, my artistic soulmate, Ri. Ri, we can do this. we can be artists, we can be kids, since we've been grannies our whole childhoods. Let's have an artistic mini-career, then settle. :)

Guess I never noticed that much...

Written by Lili

Something magically (no pun intended) happens when you make that brave, bold first step out of the broom closet. It's as if you automatically don't give a damn about everyone's opinions, but at the same time, you want to educate everyone you come across. Personally, I'm still waiting on the latter. Don't get it wrong, I care, I really do. But I'm so exhausted with caring.
I've been practicing magick my whole life. I guess I never really noticed though, I guess I never really realized it was that big of a deal until the Catholic Squad at my elementary school in Rhode Island tried to "save" me in the school's fountain during recess. I wasn't sure what I needed saving from. I was a relatively normal little girl. I drew and painted, I sang in the school and state choirs, I ran, jumped, played. .... and casted spells. I was a witch every Halloween that I can remember, and cried when I had to take the costume off, it felt like armor.
I started going to Christian church when I was in high-school. I sang in the choir, and it was the only way I could sit through a service. And there was something special about being a part of the service, and the comraderie that came with being in the choir. If you ever encounter a church choir, you'll find they are just a teensy bit more liberal than the rest of the congregation. I mean, even if you're singing about God, you're still singing, you're still being an artist.... all artists are liberals, even if they don't realize it.
In the end, I accepted God as a Universal God. I don't think it should matter how we get to him / her, but that we get there. That we show him / her the respect that it deserves for creating the earth, us, and protecting us. Spells are just prayers, with herbs and elements and music. But somehow people are forgetting how interwined we all are with each other...how so much we are different, yet all of the same.
I don't try very hard to be different. And neither does Riri. We just are what we are. You can't deny it for very long before it starts taking a hold of you. You might as well own up to who you are the sooner the better - it gives you more of a shot to enjoy what you have left of your life. Don't make excuses, they either like you for you or they don't. And if they don't - they don't. I wouldnt try to win anyone over who didn't like me for my religious beliefs, because I think that is just hateful. So, here we go. We're starting a blog to really educate and illuminate people on what and who we really are. I guess we're becoming the poster children, aren't we Riri? Well, thank Riri for wanting to illuminate and educate, I'm still being the crabby witch in the corner that wants you to get off her lawn.